In the still of the night.....

The house is silent. Not eerily silent, but peaceful silent. Reese's CD has stopped for the night and Garrett is sound asleep in bed. This stillness and quiet has allowed me to do some soul searching tonight.....I'll share with you...

For so long, I wanted a baby. I knew I wanted to be a mom since I was little. I had the most amazing example in my mother and I wanted to share the love that was shared to me. When Reese was born, I was shown the most perfect example of love when Nicole said to me "He's yours, he never was mine." She gave of herself to our family so unselfishly.

Things changed when Reese came home. Life was forever altered. This life changing experience was the BEST thing to ever happen to me. My perfect son has made me whole, complete, and full of joy. He loves me no matter what, he is excited each and everytime I come into a room, he pulls my head to him so he can kiss me.

Things changed within our marriage as well. Reese has taught us patience, respect, love and joy. I look at Garrett with a whole new set of eyes. He is the most perfect father and husband. He takes great pride in his son, in our family. He loves us unconditionally. He is teaching Reese about loving me...

Garrett and I have had some harsh realities lately. Some things have happened in our lives that have made us take a deep look at our hearts and what we want for our family. No longer is it about us, but it's all about Reese.

We have come to realize that people we once thought of as friends, can no longer fill that role in our lives. Things that we used to do for fun, no longer make us smile. I have a hard time when people say "just get a babysitter" or "won't Garrett watch him today?" The answer to both of those questions will always be yes, but the truth is, I don't want to be away from my boys. They are my heart and soul, my life. And the more I ponder it, the more I have come to realize that these boys make me happy. They are who I want to spend my time with. They are who I want to hang out with. They are who I want to share breakfast, lunch and dinner with. They are the ones I want to talk to , hug, and snuggle up to. They are my life.

Life took on a whole new meaning when my dad died. Things I always treasured, didn't seem quite so important anymore. People I counted as friends, weren't there for me. The fact of the matter is that life is short and you should only do what makes you happy. Be with those who make you laugh, do the things that make your heart smile, and say I love you often.

If I could say it, I would say : Quit worrying about your appearance. Quit worrying about what other people think. Be who you are - not who you think people want you to be. Dont' change with each group of people you are around. You are who God made you to be and that is special. Don't try to be something He didn't make you to be. It's not about who you know, but how you treat and love those you do know. Smile more. Laugh more. Be kind more. Try not to talk so badly about people you say are your friends. You aren't perfect, so don't expect perfection from everyone else. If you can't do it yourself, don't expect others to do it for you....slow down. Take time for family. Love those people in your family because in the end, they are all you will have left. That is your legacy. Quit worrying about impressing people with your job, your car, your purse. Just be you. It's not about how much money is in your bank account or what your husband does for a living....but it is about loving those around you, being kind in all situations, being gracious, courteous, and cheerful. Don't worry about things you can't change, but instead learn to love the things you can't change - especially in people. And most importantly, love God first and most and all of this will just fall into place.

And something else completely different...Julie, you make me smile. I like that you are "my kind of people". There is something to be said for being friends with people who are like you and were raised like you...good people like to hang out with good people :)